What to do if you win the Lottery

Don't tell anybody. Not your wife, not your mama, not your in-laws or the TV Station.

If you do tell somebody, remember you're rich enough to have them killed.

But it's better not to tell anybody.

If it does get around, and there's too many to kill, then get rid of the money as quick as you can.

Give it to Blagojevich.

Then let everybody know that you gave it away. You can keep a few thousand for expense, but you have to tell them that you gave it all away.