Oh, didn't he ramble

It's Saturday night and I have no date. But that's all right - neither does my wife.

It's Saturday night and I have nothing to say. I feel I have a great notion, but I can't think of what it is.

I had too much wine, tonight, with dinner. It's throwing me off my rhythm.

I'm listening to the Jim Cullum band on "Riverwalk Jazz". Somebody's talking about Lester Young, telling about when he got upset while he was performing, he would get a little whisk broom out of his pocket and brush his shoulder off. It was a sign.

I feel that I have been informed.

Which puts me in mind of the story I heard James Dickey tell one time at Emory about the old boy from south Alabama who drove the Governor's car for him. That boy polished that car every day and kept it up real good. But he didn't have one decent suit of clothes for himself. The Governor told him to get some clothes, but he didn't do it. Finally, when his friends started laughing at him, he went downtown to the Men's Store.

The salesman welcomed him in and, quick as a whistle, laid out a fine suit of clothes to try on.

He said, "You could get buried in this."

The boy tried on the coat, but one sleeve came down over his fingers and the other one just barely cleared his elbow.

The salesman said, "Don't worry about that - that's the way they're wearing 'em this year."

And he showed the boy how to stand, bent over just a little with one shoulder held back while the other one advanced, and the sleeves evened up perfectly.

The salesman said, "Hold it right there and I'll help you get into the pants."

But when he got them on, one leg was hiked halfway up to his knee and the other one was covering up his shoe.

The salesman said, "You're not standing right." And he showed him how to stand so both his cuffs lined up within a gnat's bristle.

The salesman said, "Now hold on to that posture. I'll just take forty dollars out of your wallet and you'll be all set."

Later that day, two guys he knew saw him walking down the street.

One of them said, "You see who that is?"

And the other one said, "I sure do, and look how crippled up he is!"

And the other one said, "Yeah, but don't his suit look good!"