I thought I was losing my religion

April Fool's Day, two years ago, I turned on my computer and watched it self-destruct. I called the Geek Squad and a guy came right out. I asked him what kind of words he could say. He said it's a bad day. Comes only once a year.

I asked him, could he fix it. He said, well, yes. I said, how much will it cost. He said, not much. I said, what about my data. He said, that's a bit more.

I seen he had me.

We made a deal and he went to work. He took out my hard drive and stomped that sucker flat. Then he put the windows back in and started to go. I said, thanks for nothing. He said, you'll never know.

Now every year, on April Fool's, I'm afraid to turn my computer on. So I don't. It's a religious holiday for me. Like Yom Kippur, except you can eat.