Saturday, May 22, 2010

GOOG Gets No Respect

No respect at all.

Traders and Hedgies may know their charts, but they don't know GOOG. Witness this exchange between Stupid Trader and Google Guy:

Stupid Trader: "Google has only one business - it's just an advertising company, like the New York Times."

Google Guy: "Google is an automated, infinitely scalable vacuum cleaner that extracts cash from the world. They don't need another business. Next question."

Stupid Trader: "Google is cockamamie. A bunch of clowns. They give everything away free. They give their employees Friday off. They give prizes to spaceships. They give their CEO a pass on earnings call day."

Google guy: "Everything Google does is tactically and strategically designed to increase traffic to their vacuum cleaner. Next question."

Stupid Trader: "They can't execute."

Google Guy: "Yes, they can."

Stupid Trader: "They put NEXUS out with no customer support service."

Google Guy: "So?"

Stupid Trader:

Google Guy: "Next question."

Stupid Trader: "Apple will rule the world."

Google Guy: "Apple is a gadget-maker. They don't know anything about vacuum cleaners. Next question."

Stupid Trader: "China."

Google Guy: "Google."

Stupid Trader: "They took themselves out of the biggest market in the world."

Google Guy: "No, they didn't. They just moved to a nicer neighborhood. Google still has 30% of China. Are you really buying Baidu?"

Stupid Trader: "I was thinking about it."

Google Guy: "Next question."

Stupid Trader: "Google is too big. They can't keep growing every year like they used to."

Google Guy: "Oh, yeah?"